Under the dim lights of her past she swayed while the fading memories oscillated back and forth in front of her eyes. She remembered the time, how frightened she was when she realized that she was a transgender. How would they react? Would they reject her existence? Would she be left to die alone?

Perplexed by the memory she got up and looked in the mirror. There she found a man; familiar yet strange, staring at her. It scared her. Who was he? she thought. Who was she? he thought. Turned away drowning in the ocean of memories again she recalled how all of her loved ones turned their back on her. Disgrace and disapproval was all she was left with. She felt a sudden jerk of loneliness inside her.

Her own body was wearing a mask of destruction that she could not escape. She could not stop looking at herself in the mirror on the wall. The bewildered self she always hated .There was no other choice but to look in the mirror and discover what existed inside that figure of discontentment. It was a challenge that she had to face with wide eyes opened. The gender in her brain and gender in her body were mismatched.

To survive was her sole purpose in this inhospitable world. People mocked her and ridiculed her. She was used to it they thought. Was she?

What is worse than being betrayed by your own body? You become your own battlefield. You cannot talk to anyone about it because it’s all between you and your body .You have to fight a battle of shame against your own body day after day. It never stops. No, you never get used to it. She was hurt every single time. Her soul ripped apart a little when you teased her, laughed at her. But she has mastered the art of hiding.

Yet fighting the shadows of darkness every night, she wakes up and decorates herself with glimmering jewelry and gleaming tightened outfit that exposes the same body she detests .That’s how she entertains. Dancing and singing is the only way to earn a living as her presence is considered auspicious on wedding and childbirth celebrations.

In her eyes I can see wisdom. I can see the urge of being known as a person. I can see the flames fueled by feelings. I can see the desires shouting out loud. I can see a demand for respect. And that wisdom, those feelings, the desires and demands don’t have a gender. So i see in her eyes a human … just like you.