While Mian Nawaz Sharif obediently went to India to see Narendra Modi sworn in as the new Indian Prime Minister, he did return to celebrate Youm-i-Takbir. However, the demand by Hindu extremists that Muslims should give up the Fajr azan shouldn’t have surprised him. After all, Modi is known as the Butcher of Gujerat for a reason. And as for the chit given him by the courts, Mian Nawaz should ask himself whether, after having been a chief minister himself, he has ever been given such a clean chit. Or needed one. And no Pakistani chief minister has ever so many members of a minority die violently under him.

I wonder if they will actually ban the Fajr azan. It’s an old demand, raised in Lahore before Maharaja Ranjit Singh. As he died in 1839, that was a really long time ago. But I don’t think Modi will think of the solution Ranjit Singh is said to have proposed: that the Sikh complainers wake up the Muslims for Fajr. I wonder if Indian Muslims are particularly observant of Fajr. And perhaps we Pakistanis can advise Indians what to do instead of waking up and cursing Muslims: turn over and go back to sleep. I do wonder why Indians are allowed to get away with murder (literally) in dealing with minorities, while Pakistan is criticized incessantly over the blasphemy law. I mean, like we were visited by the Archbishop of Canterbury, who was concerned about the persecution of minorities here. His Roman Catholic counterpart, the Pope, went to Israel, and expressed no interest in the Palestinians there.

India can probably draw cheer from how anti-Muslim, anti-immigrant parties have done well in the elections to the European Parliament. That sounds like the BJP, except that the European parties are Eurosceptic, which the BJP isn’t. Modi might have been elected in India, while Eurosceptics in Europe, but Ukrainians seem to have a fresh idea, electing a ‘chocolate king’ as President. That’s a little like electing Willie Wonka President instead of leaving him to run a chocolate factory. And it goes right for the youth vote. If any chocolate maker gets the idea in Pakistan, then what will become of Imran Khan?

Imran Khan has probably got other worries right now. There haven’t been any drone strikes since January, so Imran doesn’t have an issue. The government also has worries, as the Tehrik Taliban Pakistan is splitting, so it doesn’t really know who to talk to. And so the USA might restart the drone strikes, thus giving Imran something other than his party’s Khyber-Pukhtoonkhwa government’s record, which is not very impressive, to say the least. After Obama’s speech to West Point graduates, it seems the USA is raring to start those drone strikes again. Not to give Imran an issue, but to serve as a substitute for all the troops Obama also promised to draw down, as he did in that speech.

Imran is preparing to launch a call for the toppling of this government, as is Dr Prof Allama Tahirul Qadri, and the PML(Q)’s Chaudhry cousins. The only parties missing are Sh Rashid and the Jamaat Islami. The silence of Shaukat Aziz is also surprising. It’s also noteworthy that these meetings take place in London, where another Musharraf supporter, Altaf Hussain, is living without a Pakistani passport.

Well, at least Imran has not got any responsibility for the killing of Farzana Iqbal outside the Lahore High Court. She was supposed to have run off and married someone of her choice, with the result that her male relatives beat her to death with bricks. That she was murdered outside the Lahore High Court is perhaps the most horrific aspect of the whole affair. You mean people can’t go to court? Lawyers would just love not to have clients appear. Someone must tell the police that their duty is not solely to protect the high court, or beat up unruly lawyers, but to stop complainants from killing each other. After organized terrorists on a killing spree at the Islamabad district courts, we now have a free-for-all at the Lahore High Court.

Elections are funny things. For the Ukraine a chocolate maker, for Egypt Field Marshal Sisi, who was not a chocolate soldier, but who removed Morsi. I don’t know if Sirajul Haq held any candlelight vigils to welcome him, though his predecessor Munawar Hassan did hold one when Morsi was overthrown.

But the police is even funnier, for if the Lahore police didn’t stop the murder at the Lahore High Court, the Islamabad police was arresting a cannibal. The cannibal should get off, just as the Bhakkar brothers did. Remember, the chaps caught repeating the offence after being released from jail? What’s a little jail time to a cannibal?

Some people like eating other people. Some get out their cutlery, some go into politics. Both, it seems, end up in Islamabad. And there seems no end to the evil of Islamabad. Asif Zardari was acquitted by an accountability court in Islamabad, but former Prime Ministers were hauled up, being ordered to appear. Raja Pervez was ordered to appear in the case that gave him the nickname of ‘Raja Rental’, while Gilani was ordered to appear in the case of an improper appointment, along with former Commerce Minister Makhdum Ameen Faheem. Looks like a conspiracy against Pirs. Mian Nawaz shouldn’t regard his office as much of an honour, considering that his predecessors are rubbing shoulders with corrupt patwaris and dishonest officials.