CITY NOTES

As if to usher in Muharram, there was a blast at MNA Amjad Farooq Khosa’s camp office in Taunsa. But the terrorists had not got him the way they got Punjab Home Minister Shuja Khanzada. But though getting him was a big deal, what was the point? The portfolio is not empty, and the by-election to his seat has been held. As a matter of fact, PTI has probably still not recovered from losing the Lahore by-election despite Aleem ‘Hairy’ Khan’s efforts. Once more, there is a generalized effort to spread blame, and while ‘Hairy’ has managed to deflect blame to the Election Commission, Shah Mahmood Qureshi is carrying the can for the Okara by-election defeat. For not giving the independent who won the PTI ticket when he asked for it. Not that he wants it now. He’s going into the PML(N).

Well, perhaps his successor as Foreign Minister and fellow entry into the PTI, Khurshid Kasuri, is thanking his stars. At least he’s not there to carry the can for the Lahore defeat, even though he stood in that constituency in 1988. Who knows, maybe he ran up a tea bill then which has not been forgotten by the voters? Well, Kasuri was in a different sort of bother, as the host of the Mumbai leg of his book launches, Sudheendra Kulkarni, was tarred by Shiv Sena activists. Kasuri was also lucky not to have tried any beef export, because that leads to being murdered in Modi’s India, as happened to one whose truck broke down. It seems that cow worshippers have woken up to the fact that India is the world’s leading beef exporter. Yes, because it slaughters all of those buffaloes which no longer give milk.

Perhaps that cruelty towards cows on which Indian export earnings are based, is somehow behind the heartlessness with which the Samjhota Express was turned away by India, because of the protest in Indian Punjab at the desecration of the Granth in Ferozepur district. If a country doesn’t care about its citizens?

Pakistan seems quieter. Pakistanis’ bodies came back to Lahore, six of them, drowning victims trying to get into Europe. What? Now, if that’s a tragedy of Syrians, why are Pakistani bodies coming back to Lahore? Anything to get into the EU? No one’s trying to get into India. I mean, there were six Sikhs killed in Gurdaspur when protesters clashed with the cops, but there were no Pakistanis among them.

Yet it’s not as if we’re without crime. Witness the mysterious murder of a woman, her body being recovered in three bags all chopped up, in the Model Town area. The police have concluded that there has been a murder, but as they haven’t identified the victim, they haven’t been able to contact her relatives to find out who they suspect. If the relatives can’t come up with a suspect, then they’ll try and find out whom she had an old enmity with, naturally arising out of the theft of a buffalo.

The Model Town police should thank their stars they’re not the Indian police, who now have to watch out, for cattle exporters, and not just the cattle thieves their Pakistani counterparts must seek. Though the cattle rustling biradaris stayed behind in Pakistan, India has its share of cattle rustlers, especially since India also took three rivers, and cattle rustlers live on river banks.

Still, some Model Town cops may be trembling in their boots, afraid of being found out, because of the large number of unemployed young men who bought forged police documents including appointment orders and posting letters. Some of them had been guarding VIPs. Small wonder that the Home Minister was killed. And RAW missed a good opportunity, while targeting Mian Nawaz.

But while Cattle rustling is very much a crime, so is killing babies by throwing them out of the window of a high-rise, which seems to be the latest fad among mothers in New York. Yes, the fourth was flung out of a window just the other day, making the fourth, one a month since July, almost as regular as a metronome. I know little babies cry a lot, but that is no reason to throw them away. Something seems wrong with Americans. No wonder kids grow up to be serial killers or to run amok in educational institutions. Imagine having to be grateful to one’s mother for not having thrown you out of a window.

I know there’s a Russian-American rivalry these days because of Ukraine and Crimea, but I didn’t know that Russian grannies stabbing grandkids for not giving them a TV remote fast enough, which one did in January, was answered by the USA by moms, previously better known for apple pie than the old heave-ho, but that’s what’s happening. Now that Nawaz is going to the USA, he should make sure that Obama doesn’t seat him near any open windows. Look, Mian Nawaz has something of the baby about him, and is supposed to surrender the nuclear arsenal. If Obama loses his temper because Mian Nawaz isn’t doing the needful fast enough, and there’s a convenient open window, who knows what could happen?

Meanwhile, the best news for Pakistan is that the cricket team didn’t lose at Dubai. Great. Anyone see what the double-centurions did in the second innings? Shoaib Malik was out for a duck, and Cook didn’t even bat.