I dont know if theyve been put up by disturbed party leaders or worried family members or desolate servants, but there are signs around the Chaudhry family home in Gulberg reading 'Moonis Elahi ko reha karo. Somehow, that put me in mind of the slogan supposedly painted on the home of another famous son of Gujrat, Ch Fazal Elahi, no relation, Chacha Phajjay ko reha karo. Chaudhry was the first President under the 1973 Constitution, and his apparent inaction compared with the executive authority of previous Presidents (Ayub Yahya, Bhutto) made people think he must be imprisoned, though admittedly in the Presidency. Chaudhry Fazal Elahi had earlier been Speaker of the National Assembly. Ch Mooniss father Pervez Elahi had been Punjab Speaker, and became Chief Minister. Ch Mooniss maternal uncle Shujat has been PM. It might have been only a placeholding appointment between Zafarullah Jamali and Shaukat Aziz, but it was nonetheless the Prime Ministry. It seems theres only the Senate Chairmanship left for the district to achieve, though theres still the National Assembly Speakership and the Presidency to achieve for the family. Its perhaps right that this comparison with a President should come under a PPP government, for Fazal Elahi Chaudhry was the first PPP President, the incumbent being the third, and it was in Chaudhrys time that the cattle-theft case against Mooniss maternal grandfather went on, while Moonis these days is facing an insurance fraud case, which may not be more respectable, but is less reassuringly rural, and not as susceptible to investigation by the preferred police method of arresting all possible suspects and beating them all to within an inch of their lives until somebody confesses. Ch Moonis is not accused of claiming on someone alive, or saying that something was stolen when it was not, which are how insurance frauds are normally conducted, but of having committed common-or-garden company fraud. Even then, the police would prefer cattle theft to investigate. There is another crime which some say was committed, which was worse than cattle theft, and as difficult to investigate as company fraud, and that is treason. It took the ISPR to say that no Major was telling the USA where was Osama bin Laden. The ISPR was remiss in not pointing out that no major of the Pakistan Army could ever disclose such a thing to the USA, not without his superiors permission. As the accusation was ridiculous it is now coming out that Osama bin Laden was not killed. Well, not in the Abbottabad raid anyhow. That seems more like the Army we know, which says that Osama is alive, and should be saying that nothing happened in Karachi, just as nothing happened in 1971. Oh yes, and no one got any extension because the US Secretary of State recommended it, and the Army is not on the side of the Americans. Meanwhile, the government is busy forming another commission on what happened in Abbottabad. And poor Saleem Shehzad has had a commission formed over him. I wonder why Nero bothered fiddling while Rome burned, and went down in history in obloquy because of that. He should have formed a commission. But does anyone remember whom Nero blamed for the fire that burnt down Rome? The Christians. At the time of the fire, the first Bishop of Rome still held the see. Yes, one of the original disciples, St Peter no less, was still alive. But we darent say Christians now, for the association with terrorism would not be appreciated. And we might remember that the Christians wrote the history of Rome and its fire, and not only did they absolve themselves at the cost of Nero, but probably destroyed all the evidence that would have proved them terrorists. Another thing that has happened is that the weather has been terrible. Not only have we had rain in June, but it was preceded by the kind of stifling, the kind of mugginess that precedes the monsoon. As if that wasnt enough, we are also living through the process of the building of an overhead bridge. It seems that Shehbaz Sharif has to make his mark on Kalima Chowk too. If Nawaz Sharif had to build a Kalima there, Shehbaz has had to build an overhead bridge there. The Kalima lasted more than 20 years. Lets see how long the bridge lasts. However, much to my sorrow, I must mention that I had to eat wet cardboard, or rather brown bread again. Yes, She Whose Word Is Law has put me on a diet. Lets see how much weight I lose. Of course, she wants me in fighting trim just before Ramazan. At least, thats the explanation I get when I make any complaints. So this time I wont make any, because arent we taught that our rizq, our nourishment, has been predetermined by the Almighty even before we are born, and we cant eat a crumb more or a crumb less. So neither I nor She Whose Word Is Law has much say in the matter. And I probably should have mentioned it earlier, but the world of the Arts has been rendered all the poorer for the deaths of Jamil Fakhri as well as M.F. Hussain. M.F., for all his barefootedness, died in the UK. But Jamil Fakhri was probably taken by the death of his son in the USA. Obviously, the War on Terror was not being fought for either father or son.