Call Me:

It used to be considered the most respectable thing you could do for another family- to help their children settle down. For generations, the women who brought families together were remembered and revered and thanked. Like most other things it was respected. I still remember the lady who introduced my mother’s family to my father’s family. God! We were taught to respect her as much as we respected our grandparents. I’m not talking about those money making types. I’m talking about honourable women from honourable families, who devoted much of their time to finding the perfect match in matrimony between families. These women were saintly! Devoting so much effort and putting so much careful thought and responsibility into every introduction and union.

Nowadays, look at what we have reduced them to. Not to sound too middle-aged, but it is all because of our new youth culture which promotes the comic ridicule of things. We make fun of all things. It’s just become a part of our nature. We make fun of our culture, our parents, our history. Everything is a bloody joke to these college hipsters. Let me tell you all one thing. The fabric of this society still rests upon the matches good, honourable ladies envisage and bring to light between families. Without us, you know what would ensue? Dates. Dates everywhere. Everyone would be forced to date, trying to find a match, and who wants that? Imagine finding your perfect young man from the comfort of your own home, without so much as a Facebook stalking. And in return, all these young people, these young women make us out to be some kind of social caricature with personal agendas. Who the hell would want to play cupid amongst such an ungrateful lot anyway? Not out of choice, I can tell you. It’s just because somebody has to do it.

Let me tell you one thing. At the end all of you, even you Western college hipster types come looking for us. Oh yes. You can make as much fun as you want right now. You can avert your eyes and be rude to us at weddings, and tell your parents you want a love marriage and all that fluffy stuff, but most of you will seek us out. I’ve seen it. I’ve been match-fixing (it’s a pun I quite enjoy), for four decades now. Also I want to dispel the idea that only bored, obese mothers indulge in all this Rishta business. I’m a professional and I believe in all kinds of women’s rights. Including the right to choose a husband. Or a wife for yourself. But if it’s not working out, it’s not working out. It isn’t embarrassing, it isn’t a failure of your person, it’s just the way relationships are all over the world. Only, in this part of the world, you’ve got us to lean on. Let us help you. I’m speaking from experience. All these party boys come back from Canada and Europe, and after all their wild escapades they want a family girl in the end. Who do they come to? Their mother’s pals of course. The trusty brigade of what you have now dubbed “rishta aunties.” It’s the same way with girls. They’ve got their ideals, and may be even their college boyfriends, but a couple of broken hearts, a couple of bad relationships later, they just want a nice guy (preferably with a pocket). Who do they call? You guessed it.

We need to become a little more open minded about this arranged marriage thing in our young elite circles. It’s not such a bad deal. It happens, it works and some-times it fails. Just like all marriages. But we aren’t some demon race out to make your lives hell. It can get a little frustrating I suppose since we are prone to bouts of enthusiasm. Still, I for one am not ashamed to say I’ve been helping families for forty years. I have an excellent eye for match-fixing. No cupid’s arrows. Just plain old analysis, some research, some intuition. In any case, I find deep comfort in the fact that all these college hipsters are going to grow older one day, and just as they find themselves spotting the perfect man for a perfect woman across a wedding hall… well, my ghost will be raising eyebrows behind them and smiling at the irony of it all.

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