Once there lived a pigeon with beautiful eyes and flattering wings. The pigeon, though wise in his own mind, was simple minded when it came to handling worldly matters. One day, while resting peacefully and dreaming about the days to come when he would metamorphose into an eagle and would defy the winds (of change), he happened to see a cat advancing to attack him. To remedy, he immediately closed his eyes and surprisingly the cat vanished.

The wisdom of the pigeon can be extended to everyday life to deal with the problems as complex and perplexing as Panama Papers.

Think you have a deadline of any sort? Shake your head, close your eyes and the problem will solve itself. Imagine, how easy life could be. In public offices this strategy is best practiced as red-tapism. The officials from the government departments employ this mode of thinking if there is apprehension that the CM Punjab might visit the next day and suspend few officers to prove his own efficiency by bringing to light the inefficiency of others.

This mode of thinking is especially designed to help the common man deal with matters of public interest and national security.

Think there are problems in the country? Think again! Pakistan was created in the name of Islam. Nothing can undo it so all problems staring it in its face are temporary. Besides, as they say what does not kill you makes you stronger. So close your eyes and believe them when they in their own words tell that our problems, be they corruption or shortage of electricity, are only there to make us stronger.

Is war on terror an issue? Well, yes that is an issue. It is a problem imposed on us by the foreign powers who want to see Pakistan crippled. Nonetheless, there is nothing to worry about. Zarb-e-Azab is a successful operation which has resulted in improved law and order situation in the whole country. However, bear in mind, the situation has not improved beyond bounds. Our soldiers are still on ground reading your tweets and skimming through your Facebook posts. Your small doubt or insignificant questions can put our whole nation in jeopardy. You must not ask any questions which could demoralize our men in battleground. Holding our mouths shut would save us from many problems including that of disappearing from home. Don’t prove journalists right who mock you as bloody civilians. Be the damsel in distress that you are and the knights in khaki will save you from the villains around the globe.

Think there is problem with the current governmental agenda? Well please don’t think like that, it simply implies that you are trying to undermine the flourishing democracy which is bringing relief to the ordinary people of Pakistan, who ride Metro buses and die on emergency floors of the hospitals.

Think there is problem with Imran Khan? Even if you do, don’t say so. Avoid implying this anywhere on social media or you will be prosecuted and persecuted for being either a ‘patwari’ or a ‘lafafa journalist’.

If these ideas don’t impress you and you are lean on being a pessimist then say all that you want about Bhuttos, Sharifs and Insafians, but don’t digress any further. Don’t plunge into darkness by letting your mind believe that there is any issue with Balochistan other than Indian intervention. Bring your mind on the right track where it knows that the Pak forces are striving hard to bring prosperity to Balochistan, where RAW is playing its dirty games. The situation has so much improved that once in a while political parties can hold public meetings in the province which once seemed like no man’s land. Even sometimes channels give coverage to incidents like vehicle accidents. Twitter is often abuzz with trends highlighting how CPEC would bring the relief to the people of Balochistan. The Twitter community tweeting these insightful positive trends usually are well informed about the ground realities in Balochistan. They might not know about demographics of Balochistan, they might be unaware of Baloch culture and might not know the names of cities other than Quetta and Gwadar, but believe them when they tell you that they are aware of the Baloch sentiments and political realities and that they know this for a fact that once CPEC becomes fully functional, Balochistan would become the second heaven on earth (first being Kashmir). Milk and honey will flow in the cities of the province and the families of missing person would drink from these reservoirs and forget about their miseries.

Still think that missing persons’ case is an issue? Think again and rethink your thoughts and ideology before you become one of them.

Think there is sectarian violence in Pakistan? Take cue from Chaudhary Nisar, and be thankful that this issue is not indigenous to Pakistan. It has been a reality for the past thirteen centuries and is very different from terrorism. That ought to make you feel at ease.

Think minorities have issues? Don’t worry they are protected by the constitution. Someday, the law enforcement agencies and our own society will protect them too.

Think there is intolerance in Pakistan or think there is problem with the Blasphemy law? For your own sake, stop thinking at all. Cats might spare the pigeons but zealots would not let go of accused blasphemers.

So think as much as you want, but think positive only, or else you are not good enough to think. Think like the PPP who despite all challenges that their party faces, are content with the mere idea that “Bhutto is still alive.” In short, think like a pigeon. Don’t be lured by the people who tell you that in some far-fetched universe when the pigeon closed his eyes, the cat did not disappear. It caught the pigeon.