Syed Hassan Belal Zaidi

  • TMarch is usually an interesting month for the whole world. Julius Caesar’s least favourite time of year, this month also brings with it untold change on a mass level. Take Putin’s march into Crimea, for example. The impression that I had from my International Politics syllabus was that ...

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  • TIf you want to see Kabul, you must climb a hill. You will be spoilt for choice though. There’s the Bibi Mahro, or Swimming Pool Hill, named after the Olympic-sized water-body built by the Russians that sits atop it. TV Tower hill is named for the cluster of iron broadcast giants that adorn ...

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  • TToday, we’re all about talks. Negotiations towards a civilized solution to an uncivil problem. Dialogue towards the end of an insurgency unlike any other. Should we give the Taliban a chance to change their ways or wreak vengeance upon them, is the question that dominates fashionable ...

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  • TDisclaimer: This is a fictional account of a news briefing that may have happened last night at a fictitious newspaper. None of this is real, although it could very well have been. Editor: Welcome gentlemen, I trust you’ve got my slugs. So what’ve we got on the menu today?News Editor: ...

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  • TThe Pakistan Army has to be the jolliest bunch of gun-toting, lily-livered apologists around. Unlike the US Army, which famously believes in “No man left behind,” the venerable generals in command of our jawaans are known for their tendency to cut-and-run. In the 1965 Kashmir conflict, ...

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  • TMembers of a ruthless terrorist bacterial colony have infiltrated the nasal cavity and are currently holding the nose hostage. White blood cells have arrived at the scene and cordoned off the high-profile Ear-Nose-Throat sanctum, preventing the miscreants from spreading. However, despite the heavy ...

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  • T“Bhai jaan, yeh Punjab Assembly ki footage aisi hee hai. Lekin story bohat funny hai. Kya karein?” In my days as a mindless young producer at one of our premier private TV news channels, concussions were an occupational hazard. Mostly from banging my head against the (thankfully ...

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  • TTruth’ is one of the most subjective, elusive and abstract concepts in the known universe. It is different for every single human being, it is whatever you want it to be. Believe in God? His own divine word promises you salvation. Believe JFK was killed by a lone shooter named Lee Harvey ...

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  • TA prestigious banned organization is seeking desperate, driven and dogmatically-challenged individuals to staff its upcoming media and publication house. We seek to break with the spirit of big business and shady businessmen who use their ownership of print and electronic media outlets to provide ...

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  • TMy Twitter feed is literally littered with self-help articles and feel-good blogs, such as 20 Things That Prove You Grew Up In The 90s, 19 Feel Good Photos That Will Reaffirm Your Faith In Humanity and 60 Islamic Guaranteed Ways For Real Couples Making Love. That last one I did not make up, it ...

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  • TCertain diseases have a way of flying under the radar in a way that eludes medical science to this day. Since infections are generally detected through the presence of antibodies that fight them; scientists figured it was easier to hang a bell round the good guy’s neck rather than the bad ...

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  • TFor people in the news business, information is a drug. The quest for information makes journalists act irrationally, take unnecessary risks and put their lives on the line for that ultimate payoff; the high of seeing your story in print or broadcast at primetime. Over the past decade or so, ...

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  • TThe day of the dharna is upon us. The skipper has marshalled his cornered tigers and is preparing to push back, in the face of certain adversity. Leading from the front, he has captained polio drives, championed the cause of hapless drone victims and called attention to massive wrongdoing that was ...

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  • TMy name may strike fear into the hearts of human beings and cause grown men to soil themselves. My voice may be amplified, telegraphed and telephoned into TV screens, projectors and PA systems mounted alongside otherwise crowded streets, continents away. I may be a playback singer par excellence, ...

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  • TDisclaimer: This intercept of a Taliban development report from their Doha office is in no way a work of fiction. Registered as a non-profit, charity organization, the Tehreek-e-Taliban are a civic minded people who take pains to perfect their craft. We should all appreciate the work put in by ...

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  • TGood morning and welcome to the bulletin. Our top story this hour: The Election Commission of Pakistan (ECP) has banned voting on election day. In a statement issued a few days ago, the Chief Election Commissioner (CEC) announced that in view of the prevailing security situation in Balochistan, ...

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  • TMuch like US black ops on foreign soil, our country too has a penchant for abandoning its loyal sons in the heat of battle. This bad parenting trait is justified by our leaders and pundits as being “in the greater national interest”. Of course, this means that the funds transferred into ...

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  • TOn the periodic table of militants, the Tehreek-e-Taliban Pakistan top of the Halogen pops. Time and again, they have proven themselves the most reactive of this pugnacious line up, which includes incendiary performers such as the Artists Formerly Known as Al Qaeda, the Afghan Tally Ban and the ...

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  • TThere are no stupid questions. A question, by its very definition, indicates the presence of (artificial or extraterrestrial) intelligence. Mind you, this is not the same as ‘credible intelligence’, which usually gets people killed. Nor is it the same as ‘false ...

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  • TOver the past decade or so, the people of Pakistan have had to contend with many an evil doer and their malfeasant disciples. Such as Louie, leader of the dengue mosquitos. That ruthless terrorist, claimed many lives before his reign of terror was ended heroically by the First Servant of the ...

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